My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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