I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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