we have pet lesbian snakes
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
