margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
