So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
