I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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