i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
