dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
