Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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