I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
