OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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