if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You ruined the universe
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
