All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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