# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
