I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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