This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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