I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize