Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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