The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
