Got a toothbrush?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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