I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
