We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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