its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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