I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have fence marks all over my body
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
