lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
