She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i dont even know how to be here
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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