just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He felt like a one man threesome
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
