forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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