i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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