How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
