She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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