If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
