her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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