Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
