the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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