I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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