You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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