I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
