dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
