dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
