Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
