My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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