I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
