Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
