This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
