i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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