I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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