I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
