i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize