i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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