ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How does one acquire holy water?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
