Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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