just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
only you would photoshop your dick
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
