Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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