i think my tv is drunk
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
