What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
that is very illegal...i love you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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