Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
