I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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