My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
