but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
